Useful Tips

How do you know that your child is an outcast?


Overwork. Adults often say that they are tired, and do not think about the fact that children are tired too. No, of course, parents understand that the child needs to rest. But they started talking about it when he went to school. A complex program, overload, body restructuring, a new regime of the day. There are many reasons for schoolchild fatigue, and all of them are objective. But it turns out that even a baby can demand rest.

What are the signs of fatigue in a young child? First of all, this is the lack of activity. We must not forget that the newborn learns literally everything: even sucking mother's milk is a hard job for him, and he periodically takes a break. A healthy child is full of strength and energy; he plays with toys, is cheerful and restless. But if he often switches from one type of activity to another, unable to concentrate on one thing, is naughty, does not sleep well, he has drowsiness, lethargy, poor appetite, it may well be that he is simply tired. Even a rise in temperature can be a sign of overwork.

One of the reasons for this behavior is a violation of the daily regimen, for example, when the baby takes less time to sleep. Attentive parents always watch their baby and can notice and explain changes in behavior. In this case, it is important to understand that prolonged stress (and fatigue is just a stressful situation for the body) can lead to such consequences when you can’t do without a doctor.

Therefore, parents should try to establish the daily routine of the baby, find the cause of poor sleep. Perhaps the reason is banal: just the baby’s teeth are cut. It is necessary to eliminate the pain in the gums (modern medicine has created excellent means for caring for the gums of the newborn), to calm the baby and take his favorite thing, to distract. Before going to bed, you can turn on calm music, for example, let your child listen to the classics (Mozart, Chopin). Many children respond very well to the works of these composers.

Creating a favorable atmosphere in the family, adjusting the baby’s menu, walking in the fresh air, communicating with animals only positively affects the psyche of the child. And his vital activity directly depends on this.

It is important to see the first signs of fatigue and put the baby to bed, otherwise if he is overdoing it, it can provoke a new wave of energy, which will result in a long sleep, crying and hysteria. Be attentive to your children, then your fatigue will be reduced by half.

Why are they silent?

Children who are persecuted by their peers often prefer not to report this to even the closest people. This is because, firstly, in addition to “bespectacled”, “fat” or “snotty”, he risks being also “sneak”. And secondly, both kids and adolescents are afraid to appear weak, they are simply ashamed of their position in society.

The baby is crying - does that mean it's time to sleep?

Most parents focus on crying as the main signal that the baby should go to sleep. But in fact, just crying means that mom or dad already missed the ideal time for bedtime - “window to sleep”, and the baby is overworked.

A crying baby is a late sign of fatigue or a sign of overwork.

Harm to the psyche

The role of the “whipping boy” in the children's community gives rise to many mental disorders that also affect adult life. These traits acquired during bullying often prevent a person from living and succeeding. Indeed, often turning into outcasts, schoolchildren begin to study poorly, become irritable and even aggressive, they have self-doubt, neuroses and tics are not uncommon. Many disenfranchised people in their team receive severe psychological trauma that persecutes them for the rest of their lives.

Who is the victim?

According to the observations of psychologists, the victims most often become children who are different from the rest. In most cases, such factors are appearance (deafness, fullness, growth) or physiological characteristics (myopia, stuttering, enuresis). Also, the targets of physical and psychological violence turn out to be insecure quiet people who are not able to fend for themselves.

At a younger age, the stigma of the outcast is most often put on dvoechnikami, in the older, on the contrary, on excellent students. Absolutely at all ages, they do not favor those who are ovary, and those who are overly tutelized by family members.

Dangerous signs

It’s easy to learn that a son or daughter is being bullied at school. For this, it is enough to simply observe the behavior of the child. Most often, objects of ridicule, much more than their peers, rejoice at any occasion that saves them from attending classes. Even their unwell health during the illness does not diminish their joys, since the fact of the illness itself allows them to legally stay at home.

In addition, the kid or teenager answers parents' questions about his classmates in a monosyllabic and reluctant, and sometimes simply silent. Peers do not call him, do not come to visit, and he himself does not invite anyone either. If the rejected by the team for any reason misses classes, he will not call classmates in order to find out their homework or lesson schedule.

Such children usually return home agitated, irritable or depressed. From time to time, you may notice the loss or damage to any things of your son or daughter. This should alert you doubly, if before this child was very neat.

How to help?

According to statistics, the vast majority of victims of violence are children whose parents were also harassed at one time. Echoes of this rejection make themselves felt in adulthood. And children, as you know, unconsciously copy the actions of their fathers and mothers, who are authorities for them. Therefore, first of all, take up yourself, become an example for the sufferer: show confidence somewhere, rebuff the boor somewhere, and so on.

Secondly, stop over-patronizing your child, especially in the presence of his comrades. Otherwise, this can be a serious reason for ridicule.

Forget phrases like “Be above it” or “Learn to solve your problems yourself.” In the first - because it is very difficult for a small person to not notice peer attacks and at the same time remain completely confident in himself, and in the second - because the offspring will most likely regard your words as indifference, unwillingness to help or even cruelty.

Better try to find the reason due to which a traumatic situation has developed and eliminate it. For example, if it’s a delicate physique, write the student in the sports section, and if in poor progress, hire a tutor.

Teachers should also be involved in resolving the conflict. But not in order to give instructive lectures to offenders, but in order for the teacher to regularly and unobtrusively notice the dignity of your bloodline in the lesson. After all, a teacher, especially for primary school students, is an unshakable authority.

If you tried everything, and the problem seems insoluble to you, transfer your offspring to another educational institution. In order to prevent him from becoming an outcast there, and also so that he does not subsequently solve all problems by such an escape, analyze the current situation with him and build a different model of behavior in a social group.

How to spot early signs of fatigue?

To make out the early signs of fatigue, you need to postpone household chores and turn on observation. If you carefully monitor the baby, you will notice that:

  • Activity level decreases, baby becomes less mobile
  • Coordination of movements is changing
  • The gaze "becomes glassy" and becomes directed "to nowhere."
  • The kid may not immediately respond to toys, words
  • Baby yawns
  • The kid asks for a pacifier, a bottle, a breast, wants handles
  • Loses interest in communication and game
  • Stroking favorite toy, blanket
  • The child may "jokingly" go to bed

All these signs say that the baby is tired and wants to sleep. If the baby is in bed at this moment, he will fall asleep quickly and easily.

What happens if parents miss early signs of fatigue?

If mom or dad missed the early signs of fatigue, then fatigue grows into overwork. The kid begins to act up, throws back toys, loses patience, overfatigue grows. Now, to fall asleep, the baby will need to calm him down, and his sleep will be short. This is the action of stress hormones.

Remember the 5 important points:

1. In bright sunshine, signs of fatigue may not be visible. At least an hour before your expected bedtime, go home from a walk and watch.

2. To show signs of fatigue, conditions must be created. For example, if a child is tickled or carried away by an interesting game, he will not show these signs. Try to avoid new activities and games before going to bed, transfer all new activities to the first half of the day.

3. Some children show no signs of fatigue. Focus on waking time (WB) and analyze the process of falling asleep. If falling asleep is too long (more than 20 minutes), then it is worth reducing the time of wakefulness (WB).

4. Parents can confuse boredom and fatigue. Offering baby new toy or a new activity, parents will be able to notice that the baby quickly lost interest in them and is naughty again.

5. Remember that bedtime preparation should begin and end so that the child is in bed, ready for bed before the signs of overwork appear. Otherwise, you miss the “sleep window” and the baby overdoes it.

Turn on observation, every day you can more accurately and carefully monitor the signs of your baby’s fatigue and go to sleep at the most suitable time.