Posted by pikacho on 04/01/2017
Managing people is a real art. In order to subjugate people, to force them to do what you want, to direct them into their “mainstream”, it is necessary to learn some psychological methods of influencing a person. Read in this article about 10 ways to manage people and get things done.
There is a special look that makes people reckon with you, recognize you as a strong opponent at the subconscious level.
This view can be useful in any controversial situation when you want to state that you should be reckoned with and that you make decisions here.
It is necessary to look into the eyes, but not on the surface of the eye, but as if through it, looking into the soul. It turns a piercing look that declares your decisive mood. And people feel it.
To achieve what they want, people sometimes use the tactless question method surrounded by other people. In private, you would not hesitate to refuse to answer or answer negatively, but in public you are confused and can agree or answer so as not to seem greedy, secretive, and so on.
In order not to fall for this bait, you can use the energy pause method. You look into the eyes of a person as if you are about to answer. He is preparing to accept your answer, but you are not responding.
You keep looking at him, but don't say anything. He looks away, bewildered, and then you start talking about something else. After such an incident, he will no longer try to force you to respond in public.
Pause and encourage
Sometimes people try to demand something, relying solely on the intensity of their demand. That is, a person in principle understands that his demand is unfounded, and you understand this.
Nevertheless, he actively and very emotionally demands something, hoping that you will give in, fearing a conflict. If you maintain his tone or start to object, the conflict will take place.
Instead, pause and encourage the person to continue the conversation in a friendly manner. Feeling support, a person will cease to get excited, will begin to speak more calmly.
But even after that, do not stop silence, nod and encourage him to speak further. A man will begin to explain, then - to justify himself, and finally apologize.
Of course, not only you and not only consciously apply some tricks. It happens that people unconsciously feel what to do in order to achieve what they want, and behave like that.
If you notice the gaze of the interlocutor, he may apply some kind of psychological impact to you, it does not matter, knowingly or not.
Remember: you do not have to play peepers with him, accepting the rules of his game. Look into his eyes, smile, making it clear that you noticed his eyes and you do not care, and look at other objects.
What is manipulation?
Manipulation is a hidden identity management, that is, an incentive to make decisions, to carry out any actions that the manipulator needs to fulfill his own goals (often self-serving).
In no case should the victim understand that the thoughts and actions committed under the influence of the “puppeteer” are imposed by someone from outside. This is the art of managing people. Such a skill provides quite serious opportunities that can be embodied as material or moral satisfaction.
On the one hand, the work of the manipulator is often perceived in the eyes of others as a negative impact, but there are always two sides to the coin: for example, the reverse in this matter is the manipulation of the teacher or parent in relation to the student or child for educational purposes.
The main difference between manipulation and voluntary choice is the apparent lack of choice. A person does not act in accordance with his interests, but after realizing the fact of influence, he feels himself used, which is very unpleasant. But not from birth, a person has such a skill.
What you need to know
- The human psyche is very individual. If one technique works for one, there is no guarantee that it will work for the other. Their skills should be used with caution.
- Any skill needs to be honed. One theory is not worth being content with, practice is needed in every business, no skill comes from nowhere.
- Influencing a person is possible only if he is located towards you.
- Before you try to convince someone of the interlocutor, learn about him as much as possible, whether it is a place of work or personal qualities.
- You must be confident in your words.
- Influence on a person through his needs. Each person seeks to satisfy his needs or ambitions, whether it is a need for security, physiology, a desire to occupy a particular position, to receive a certain service. The focus of the manipulator is often concentrated on this. This skill is mainly used by the media. The most striking example is advertising on the Internet, on television. The tricks of marketers, the ability to correctly present information, the invitation of celebrities ... All this makes the masses buy what is offered from the screens.
- Manipulation through weakness. This method involves the skill of playing on human weaknesses, which include self-doubt, stupidity, excitement, curiosity, suggestibility, superstition, fear and so on.
- Guilt management. Often, having allowed a small fault, the victim is looking for a way to atone, which is what the manipulator uses. This skill is most often used by inexperienced manipulators.
- A game of vanity. As well as self-doubt, one can take advantage of self-confidence: the manager achieves his goal with flattery and approving speeches.
Psychology also shares several main methods of influence, which greatly simplify the achievement of goals in any areas of human life: work, social activities, and the family. The main ones are the following basics:
- The ability to interest the object of influence. Whether it is a promised service or the provision of information necessary for a person, the main thing is that the motivation is strong enough to induce active action. There is no need to have a great skill. A classic example, which is often used in families in relation to children: “let’s you do the work, and in return you will get candy.” This happens with adults, only a “sweetie” can be promotion, financial incentive. Psychology is one.
- Tricks - methods of manipulation, which consists in posing controlled in an awkward position. Often this technique is used in disputes, debates.
- Managing people under stress. One of the simplest methods that do not require skills in the field of psychology. A person who is in a state of deep depression, fear, or stress is easily suggested. It is not so important to him what to believe. The goal of such a person is to cling to at least for something. This is often used by scammers. Remember gypsy fortune-tellers who, seeing that a person is not in the best mood, take advantage of this.
All methods of manipulation are somehow revealed through the above basics. Some of them are suitable for crowds, others are quite suitable for domestic use.
A few more ways
- Influence through stereotypes. In this case, the influence is exerted through images rooted in the human mind, traditions, and elements of mentality.
- Attraction is one of the methods that helps to manage people even more imperceptibly. Attraction as such is not a way of manipulation. It is only soil and is a person’s attention, creating interest and proper location. Attraction Psychology - the desire and ability to achieve positive emotions.
- Suggestion. Simply interference in the human psyche. These methods include hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). The impact is mainly on the emotions, but this method requires a special skill. This work should be done by a professional who knows exactly how to manage people without harm to mental health.
Otherwise, there are baits that allow the manipulator to attract and maintain the attention of the governed or society to a certain part of the whole thing, distracting from the main goal. This method can be called almost ideal, because a person, even after the manipulator has received his own, does not notice the influence.
The described techniques are diverse and suitable for both domestic use and for managing people at work. Managing people is a very useful skill these days. However, it should be remembered that it is advisable to use these methods in the masses only if the points that you intend to “press” are the same or at least close to the majority of those managed. Other methods are suitable only for personal influence at the household level, often carried out unknowingly.
In conclusion, it should be said that science does not stand still and is developing quite quickly, new information, data, and methods on the topic of managing people appear, but the main points that exist at the moment and given above will not lose their relevance over time.
In the process of a detailed study of the topics of people management, Paul Ekman's books are of particular importance. To improve the skill of manipulation, start with them.
Life often confronts us with unpleasant people with whom we simply have to communicate and maintain good relations.
To maintain normal communication or to get something from this person, you really have to overcome the hostility towards him. And not just pulling a fake smile, but imbued with sympathy and kindness.
How to do this if you have a scandalous vile type?
Introduce him as a small child. If the child is behaving badly, then he is embittered, miserable or spoiled. In any case, the environment is to blame.
Basically, it's true, so you don’t even fool yourself. When you see this person as a child, you cannot be angry with him, and people always feel kindness and sympathy, and this disarms them.
Many people put pressure on their employees, relatives, and friends to get what they want. What does it look like from the side: repeated repetition of the same requirements - sometimes soft, then harsh, then persistent and emotional, then unobtrusive.
A man makes it clear to you that you simply cannot do it differently, he will stand his ground until the very end.
What can be done with this? It helps to call a spade a spade. For example, you can immediately ask a person: "Are you pushing me?" As a rule, a person is then lost. No less important is the ability to firmly say no.
Ability to say no
You must learn to say no, this is very useful in the fight against all kinds of manipulators, among which there may be not only intrusive partners, but also your friends or relatives.
You must learn to say that very word - "no." It doesn’t “fail”, or “I don’t know,” or “we’ll see,” namely, the solid “no.”
Of course, such a categorical refusal is not suitable in all cases, but in some situations it is necessary.
Do not explain your refusal
This is also a great skill that is acquired with experience. If you refused someone, said your firm “no”, manage to do without explanation, and even more so without excuse.
At the same time, you should not feel guilty that you refuse without explanation. People feel an internal mood, and if you hesitate within yourself, then they will get comments from you and maybe even persuade you.
And again, it is not always worth refusing without explanation, but there are times when it is necessary.
Position without evidence
In negotiations, evidence of correctness often plays a negative role. Rightness is a state that is transmitted at the level of sensations. You feel right, and other people agree with you.
If you start proving your position with arguments, it can destroy confidence in being right.
Let's say you give one argument, and your interlocutor refutes it. If after this you give the second argument, then you agree that the first was unsuccessful, and this is the loss of your position and unwavering faith in your rightness.
Commit new role
If you enter into some new role - the department head, team captain or some other - you need to fix it immediately, indicating your authority. As soon as possible, do in the new role what you could not do in the former.
Give some order, make a decision, ask for an answer from subordinates and so on. The longer you drag on taking on a new role, the more your rights can be cut.