Useful Tips

Sibling death


It's not about me, but about one friend who recently lost his sister in an accident.

I don’t know how he could be helped.

They had a very close, close relationship. If anyone has experience, tell me.

A very difficult situation. Nevertheless, a friend can make some efforts to help alleviate the bitterness of loss.

The first thing you can do, no matter how trite it may sound, is to listen. Perhaps a friend will want to tell in detail about what happened, pour out their feelings. Many who have experienced the pain of loss say that it helped them when there was someone to pour out the sore.

The second thing that can help is encouragement. You need to assure the person that he did everything possible in his situation and help him stop blaming himself. Talk about people who were able to recover after a bereavement. To convince that he can do it.

Offer practical help. This help can be in the organization of a funeral, help around the house, but you never know what a person may need in such a difficult moment. And take practical steps, provide practical assistance, be observant, not limited to the phrase: "If you need anything, you tell me."

After the funeral, urge you not to retire, often come to visit each other, support with word and deed.

If you both consider yourself to be Christian believers, you can offer to pray or read the Holy Scriptures together, these are the places that speak of hope for the dead. For example, John 5: 28.29, Acts 24:15, John 3:16. Spiritual helps a lot in such situations.

Leushin Andrey Vladimirovich

your father will have the hardest time because he has lost a reliable assistant and partner in the person of his brother.
your mother is likely to survive this most painlessly because religious people are convinced that God takes the people he needs.
it would be better if your father rests for some time from his activity because doing it now he will most likely feel the loss and from this feel that his activity is not effective enough. let him go with your mother to rest, let him stay at home for a while.
the pain from the loss of a loved one passes best under new impressions, new deeds, new goals and objectives, while the usual way of life will constantly reveal the very emptiness you are talking about.
you should personally invite both of them to spend time together heart to heart to get closer so that they understand that yes they have lost their son but they also have you and this will encourage them to think more about you. that is, to direct their energy into a constructive direction.
as much movement as possible can also be advised to you. try to do business more tired and pay more attention to parents because now they need it much more.
the pain of loss cannot be completely relieved. it placed a heavy burden on the heart of your parents and on you, but it’s harder for them because there is nothing worse than burying your own children and with your connecting power you can give them the opportunity to understand that they live on, that they can live for you.
don't try to be sure to cheer them up you just need to be around. calming and giving warmth with his presence.

Grandilevskaya Anna Borisovna

Hello, Elina! I am deeply sorry for your loss. You know, maybe this will sound dry, although I know what it means to survive the loss of a loved one, but grief in our lives has its own tasks. It is necessary to live without running away, to rethink something, to accept and, having gone to another level, go further. Psychologists consider grief and experience of loss throughout the year to be adequate. If this lasts longer, then it makes sense to contact a psychologist who will help release the situation, anticipate the pain. Your situation is complicated by the history of your relationship with your brother, and, most importantly, the guilt that arose because you were not there. You are so imbued with guilt that you consider yourself responsible for the life and death of your brother. This is not true. It is not in your power and in anyone's power, and, despite your relationship, you could not do anything. No matter how painful, the brother’s path is his path, and your life is yours. In any case, we are born alone, and leave alone, and no one can share this with us. Assuming that we come to this world to get our own experience, to go our own way, perhaps your brother has gone his own way.

You need to let go, accept the situation and learn how to live without it. The brother was a very significant person for you, and what you experienced next to him when you were together will forever remain with you, and he will remain in your heart and your love for him. But you have your own path, your own task, and only you can go this route. I know that I myself suffered for a very long time because I could not be around when a person close to me died. But it is necessary to live.

I would very much like for you to turn to a psychologist for help, it will be difficult for you to cope on your own, the whole situation is very tragic.

If you gather all the forces that you undoubtedly have, and decide, I’m ready to help you in this difficult situation

Sincerely, Grandilevskaya Anna Borisovna, psychologist St. Petersburg