I think the article will help many understand their grievances. Resentment is what I know firsthand. Resentment is my usual state, I was born with it (and maybe even earlier).
- always a reaction to the situation, always negative.
- powerlessness, exposing oneself to be weak.
- you hide the flaws that you don’t want to admit to yourself (and when you notice or indicate, here RESIDENCE is at the ready, as a defensive reaction)
- Deceived expectations (and don’t expect, then you won’t be deceived!)
- not a constructive position, expectant, passive (the offender will come and ask for forgiveness, or compensate, do something, pamper, feel guilty next to me ... to the infinity of options)
- you put yourself as a consequence, and the offender as a cause, give control over yourself, i.e. someone affects your state, mood (you already lost if you were offended).
- contact restriction (do not communicate with the offender) Any contact restriction
- This is a LIMITATION, you can lose a lot, skip.
- self-closure, narrowing, reduction, degradation, not development (because there is no contact, the mood is bad, thoughts are lousy ... to infinity).
- revenge for yourself, for the mistakes of others (not invented by me, borrowed)
- an attempt to influence one’s state with another, an attempt to exert pressure on him (and this is already manipulating a person, does not pass without a trace)
- a demonstration of their dissatisfaction (no matter what). (What signals you emit into the universe, you get back and forth, there will definitely be more reasons to complain). But we are insulted! We don’t think about this “trifle”.
- a state when he expected something, but did not receive it. Don’t expect it! Be free from it. Be able to accept any result (especially another! :))
- a distorted understanding that someone owes you something there, you waited and didn’t receive (Standby mode is a shitty thing, wait and catch up - no worse! :)
- the load of negative emotions, like a bucket of unfinished poop, you carry all the time with you and there is no way to get rid. Constantly stir with a wand so that God forbid it does not settle down and offer to smell others (when you tell them how bitterly they offended you)
- self-closure (rarely does anyone really want to break free). And this is a ready-made program or a psychological unit that joins an already considerable handful of the same programs, condensing and comforting this “pretty” lump.
- this is tears, wrinkles, drooping corners of the lips, a mask of sorrow on the face. (Beauties - why do we need such an unsympathetic make-up? :)
- this is a pose: I am offended, here I am!
- non-constructive state, there is no desire to change something, improve.
- is always. YES YES!! IS ALWAYS! Inadequate response to the situation!
What is insult?
Resentment is not a flight, it is a low, not creative state. What great or just good can you create while being in it? The same poop.
Resentment makes you
- Weakened, powerless (after all, he transferred control over himself and his state to the offender).
- Lichen, because there is a feeling that something was missing, cheated, circumvented ...) Calm down, my friend, it will soon turn out in life. According to your thoughts, it will be given.
- Damaged, powerless (you sit and delve into your insult, but what do you really do? Nothing!) You give signals to the universe, then you get back. Are you surprised??
What does resentment do?
- clogs up your space (foul thoughts, feelings, accusations ...)
- introduces inharmonious vibrations into your field, which, like a stench, spread further from you).
- makes you sick (and not just on your head :)) in fact, the blocks (in the liver, or what?) Really gather in the organs - there is an opinion that it even leads to cancer.
- lowers your emotional tone (with all that it implies ...)
Where do the legs of resentment grow?
Probably from childhood, perhaps, it was possible once to get what was desired in this way. As a rule, this game does not work with a conscious person. Or copied behavior, perhaps a forcibly imposed program.
Offended - great tricks! They know very well who can be offended (the lower terminal, who it can influence, who can respond to it ...) and who is not (the higher terminal, weather, chair leg, if the cat is hooked ... moon, sun, rain, even if wet )
And so, resentment appeared, what to do with it?
. realize her. Yes, offended, “there is such a letter in this word”
. Look for inadequacy in yourself, ask questions honestly and also honestly answer (after all, nobody will hear it, dear, :)!
· What exactly hit? (Intonation, words, view, pose, action ...)
· Was there a similar feeling before?
· Under what circumstances (people, situations, place ...)
· Where is the body in it?
· What does it look like?
· How long can I be offended?
· How strong?
· What will my insult give me?
· What benefits can it bring?
· How can it hurt?
· What do I want to achieve resentment?
· Why is it profitable for me to be offended?
· How often do I get offended?
· For what exactly?
· On whom?
· What do you want to do in response (What feats does it take to fill your face, quietly shit, call, lie low, take revenge, forgive, laugh?)
· In what cases am I offended?
· Who is offended in my family? And from friends? And of those who I like, I like, from whom I take an example?
WOW GO! How much you can learn about yourself. You can come up with your own questions, dear, close, interesting.
What can be done with insult?
- Play (make it smaller, bigger, move, paint, shape ... Imagine yourself!)
- to rhyme - insult libido, aikido ...)
- make friends, take a walk, to the movies, to the store, on a string, like a dog :)
- in a beautiful notebook write down all insults in life, arrange a beautiful album.
- write a dedication, an ode to her, make a declaration of love, tell how nice and sweet to pick her, blame another, drown in her, etc. Imagine yourself!
- talk beautifully: in front of the mirror, pout lips, lower the corners of the lips, eyes up, down - in short, play, create!
- play with intonation: pronouncing with different stresses “I AM OFFENDED”, “I AM OFFENDED”, “I AMONED”, “I AM OFFENDED”, “OFFENSE SHOWS ME, I am offending”
- play with a pose. Leg to the side, head lowered, belly stuck out, tail pulled :)
- imagine filming a movie in front of the camera.
- Invent 5 (10.15 ...) ways how else you can: take offense, cause another offense, do not take offense, make peace, etc. Fantasy has no limit. Do it yourself.
Again, questions and answers
What exactly do I not like?
What should be done for the future so that a similar situation does not arise?
How to defuse the situation with the least loss?
How did I provoke such behavior, reaction with my actions (inaction), thoughts?
What reason did I give another to do so?
How to improve our relationship?
How to convert the energy of resentment into creative energy?
Those. use poop insults as fertilizer for flowers! This will undoubtedly make you wiser, kinder, more courageous, more inventive. With this approach, the CREATOR will WAKE YOU.
You can give something to the offender, at least mentally. But with one condition - this should be done sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, (and not like that: on, choke), otherwise it won’t work. I know from my own experience that it helps a lot. After all, you are making this gift not to him, who offended you, but to the offended part of yourself. Those. to yourself.
Be careful with someone who is offended often. At least pay attention to this. This is a signal that everything is not okay with him.
A sense of resentment: where does it come from
This emotion arises when a situation arises of a discrepancy between the expected behavior of a person from his real act. Thus, a sense of resentment includes three aspects:
- building expectations
- observation of actions
- juxtaposition of aspirations and reality.
Simply put, we expect from a partner or friend understanding, some action in our direction, but do not tell him about it.
And we even ate saying that we truly believe that a person will do exactly as we ask, regardless of our own desires and possibilities.
Of course, in family and relationships, we all, without exception, are waiting for love, respect, care. But, importantly, for some reason we are not in a hurry to talk about our desires.
Moreover, a model of relationships sits firmly in our heads (based on a parental family or on TV shows and women's novels), not realizing that our partner may have an excellent relationship model in his mind.
But if you think about it, such a model of behavior is fundamentally wrong! After all, no one owes anything to anyone!
It is very stupid to devote your life to a person, forgetting about yourself. It only means that you do not value yourself, and from the relationship you will not get anything. So it turns out that all our life we have been expecting something from a person who, in principle, cannot give us this!
Resentment to loved ones
All standing relationships have only one future - bright and beautiful. All the good that we receive in a relationship, we must value as a gift.
It’s not so easy to offend us, but it’s very easy for a loved one. Indeed, we do not expect anything from an outsider, and therefore we are not angry. But a casually thrown rudeness or a sharp remark from a loved one hurts very much.
The roots of resentment
Undoubtedly, at the root of resentment is always “sitting” some deep mental trauma. The inferiority complex is often to blame. Constant self-doubt, low self-esteem, inability to take responsibility - all this only complicates your relationship with loved ones.
This is an eternal expectation that you will suddenly be appreciated, will help you do something for you. When this does not happen, you are very upset.
Of course, you can blame other people for your happiness and success. But then these people will always influence your mood and attitude. Your happiness is only in your hands; do not give it to others.
Do I have to fight this
Do not think that these are just big words. Internal grievances, like non-healing wounds, do not allow us to love and live life to the fullest, lead to diseases and even death.
Make a choice right now, once they take life into their own hands forever. Control your sense of resentment completely, do not let this emotion control you. She's like poison corroding your nature.
10 tips to get rid of grievances
To be able to manage your emotions is an indisputable advantage of a person at any time. We have selected for you ten of the most effective practices for getting rid of this destructive emotion, by practicing in which you will gradually cope with it.
Pull yourself together and never make serious decisions in a state of resentment. Learn to take control of your emotions.
Running and giving back to the offender is not the best option. Take a photograph of him, and if not, a soft one and a toy or pillow. Imagining that this item is the offender that appeared before you, speak it out to him.
Explain in detail what specifically touched you and did not suit you. This task will teach you to clearly and clearly indicate what you want and what you don’t have at all.
Take an object (soft toy, for example) and imagine that your offender is in front of you. Express all your pain and bitterness through physical impact on this item. If you want to cry - feel free to shed tears!
If you speak out a problem for you, millet write a letter to the offender. Pour out on paper what you think about the situation that is offensive to you. After completing this practice, the letter can be destroyed.
Learn to engage in a constructive dialogue, without unnecessary emotions and insults. In a conversation with the offender, one should not use “you-messages”, but the “I-messages” model. That is, do not say to the interlocutor: "You have offended me!". Tell the one who offended you: "I am very offended, your words (actions) made me very upset."
After all, if a person is accused of something, he begins to defend himself. But if you say everything that you feel, perhaps the offender will penetrate and think about his behavior.
Put yourself in the shoes of the wrongdoer, perhaps he does it unknowingly. Or simply does not focus on their actions. It is even possible that this person is used to such a model of behavior from childhood.
Oddly enough, you can say "Thank you!" To your offender. After all, he revealed your weaknesses, and now you have something to work on.
It may sound silly, but you need to forgive yourself for being offended. Forgive yourself and it will be easier.
Try to understand once and for all for yourself that the actions of people, for the most part, are neither good nor bad.
Go through the minds of all your friends and acquaintances; are there people among them who never get offended? Why do you think they are so persistent? And the thing is that these people are very confident, their self-esteem is simply impenetrable for insults. These people are masters of their lives, they are not dependent on others, but rely only on themselves.
So, how to cope with resentment?
- do not smother a fever - do not solve important issues in a state of anger,
- if resentment is your regular guest, consider why this happens. You may have self-esteem problems. Of course, you won’t solve it in one day. But when you become more confident in yourself, offenders around will definitely decrease,
- do not accumulate grievances in yourself, because they can become the causes of diseases and disorders. Forgive the insult and live a full life!
When someone harms us, it is always very unpleasant. It is even more difficult to realize that a person does this intentionally. But there is such a good saying: "The best means of defense is an attack." Of course, it is not always possible to express your feelings directly. But nothing prevents to do this at a distance using a piece of paper with a name or photo. Magic will do its work, a person will suffer from its influence, while he will not even guess who exactly caused trouble to him. So you can not be afraid of a second attack by his offender. Moreover, performing the ritual is quite simple.
Rituals with a photo or with a piece of paper with the name of the offender written on it are carried out due to the impact on the human field. It is possible to use black magic, if necessary. And if you want to forgive a person and admonish him, you can use the arsenal of not black, but white magic. For example, to conduct one of these rituals come in handy:
- thin church candles
- a cup made of metal, or any saucer,
- a small piece of paper.
The ceremony must be carried out when everyone is sleeping. It will be necessary to light a candle and write on a piece of paper the name of the enemy. Above a piece of paper you will need to read “Our Father” three times. Then you need to light a sheet with the name of the offender with a candle flame and put it on a dish. Until he has completely burned out, you need to say something like this in your own words:
“Let the arrow of fire fly, full of my anger. It doesn’t fly into the eyebrow of the offender, it does not fly into the eye, but goes straight into his heart. She will stab and slaughter the offender and will break all his future hopes. The evil committed by him, let him pour his tears, everything will return to the servant of God (such and such) will return! Let it be so! Amen!"
It remains only to collect the ash from the burnt paper. It will need to be dispelled in the wind that night. If you want to quickly achieve the result, in this case, the ashes should be taken directly to the doors of your offender and poured there. Here is one of the good ways to punish the offender without harming yourself.
Now about how to inflict a retaliation if there is a photo of the enemy on hand. It is important that the person was alone in the photograph, he should look not to the side, but directly in front of him. The face and eyes should be clearly visible. To conduct a magic ritual you will need:
- two candles (one red and one dark),
- the photo,
- pencil or pen
It is important to be in the apartment alone. Before starting the manipulation, you need to turn off the electricity in the house. The fact is that its fields can interfere with magical energies.
How to conduct a ritual? It is necessary to light pre-prepared candles (the red one should be located on the left, and the dark one on the right). In the center you need to put a photo. Before her, you need to say the following:
“The devil sits in a deep hole in a black mountain, he looks into the distance. He is guarded by an angel of darkness, does not order him to go into the world, does not let go. I will ask him to let the devil go free with fire. Go, hell, through the forests and along the valleys, go there, where the Devil himself sits. Take the evil Devil's paw, and bring the slave (name) to the Lord’s bright mansions. There let a fair trial be done; surround him with evil. Let blood run cold in his veins and fear let him not leave him for a long time. Let him get what he deserves, so that he has no strength left for repentance. Amen!"
In the flame of a candle, you need to heat the needle well and pierce your finger with it with blood. In the photo on the forehead of the enemy now you need to draw a cross. Three times you will need to repeat the phrase: "Blood paid!" Then the photo needs to be hidden. When revenge is completed, the image will need to be burned.
If the offender says something bad in a conversation, you can try to imagine that he has a lot of cotton in his mouth. And if there is an opportunity, you need to try to answer the offender with sharpness for sharpness. Then the next time he will simply not be uncomfortable to say something offensive.
Prayer for retribution read in the wind
The prayer read in the wind helps very well. It is important that when reading it, a number of conditions are met, for example:
- clear weather
- ветер (хотя бы небольшой) на улице.
Ритуал проводится дома возле окна. При этом никого рядом быть не должно. Текст молитвы заранее переписывается на белый лист бумаги и постепенно заучивается. Во время ритуала необходимо при произнесении слов максимально их визуализировать. imagining all the vile atrocities committed by the enemy.
You need to say the following:
“Lord, my God, everything is completely in Your hands, in Your supreme authority, in Your submission. Everything in the world is controlled by you, and everything submits to you. You, Lord, created everything in this world yourself. The sun will fade without the sun, all the grass and trees on the earth will go down, there will be no water, no wind, no harvest. The stars in your name are ignited, people with the desire and command of yours are born and the soul inhabits their bodies. I am Your creation, I am Your unreasonable child, I am Your reflection. Restore, my Lord, justice, return insults to my enemy (name). ”
You can also, if the offender passes nearby, slowly tell him the following in his back: “Fly, arrow, with pain and with tears, fly paths unhandled, fly through blood, get into my heart a foe. If with all his might let him, bring him out. The key, the lock, yes the way will truly be so! ”This is a very good, working method from the arsenal of black magic, which was still owned by our great-grandmothers. The ritual is carried out in windy weather.
One of the most powerful black magic conspiracies
There are still ways to punish the offender with a conspiracy at a distance. Here is a very powerful, effective conspiracy of black magic. It should be used only as a last resort. Otherwise, you can hurt yourself. For the ceremony, choose those numbers that are a multiple of 6. For example, it can be performed on the 18th or 30th of any month. It is important to observe one more rule - you must wait three hours in the morning.
- white blank large piece of paper
- pen with a red rod,
- church candle
- consecrated water in the church.
How is the ritual performed? The candle first lights up. A sheet of paper is taken and written on it in detail, in detail, the specific chosen method of punishment (it can be any). At the same time, any ambiguity must be avoided - let everything be extremely specific. After that, you need to take the needle and bake it over the candle. Let her even blacken. Next, you need to slightly prick yourself with the ring finger and cross out the inscription with blood with a cross. Then the plot is pronounced (this is done three times). In this case, you need to mentally refer to your offender. You need to say the following:
“It is written with blood, sealed with blood. I’ll enter your life with dark power, let bitterness and tears come into it. You cannot escape from my court. ”
Sometimes, after such a conspiracy, the offender, the thief or the ill-wisher repents of a bad deed committed by him.
An important requirement for carrying out the ritual described above: the one who performs it must have a photo or at least the name of the offender.
In fact, there are a lot of quite effective rituals that allow you to punish the offender at a distance. At the same time, a person always chooses the means of influence on the enemy himself. It can be both white magic and black. If you do not want to do irreversible evil, then you should use tools from the arsenal of white magic, if the offense is strong and the person is vindictive and ready for anything - in this case, you can choose some means from the arsenal of black magic.
Proponents of black magic are convinced that evil should not be unpunished, as it will entail a new evil and ultimately the offender will "sit on his neck." It is important to do something in time so that the offender does not consider the victim an easy prey. Yes, indeed, in some cases it helps a lot and even contributes to the survival of people. And if it’s difficult to perform some powerful ritual by yourself, you can turn to hereditary black sorcerers for its conduct or for consultation. But for starters, it’s worth trying to solve the problem yourself - it is quite possible that everything will not be so complicated, and justice will prevail - the offender will be punished.
Where do the insults come from and how to get rid of them
- Where do the grievances come from?
- How to deal with grievances
- Way that works
- How to deal with offenders
- How to change habitual behavior
Once upon a time there was Ivan, not a blockhead. I bought land, plowed the field, sowed. Waiting for the harvest. But it was not there. The earth is dry, cracked, the sprouts have withered.
Not immediately, but it dawned on Ivan: the river is to blame, the water does not reach. It turned out that the flood caused branches, logs and all kinds of garbage.
Ivan, though not a fool, did not know what to do with this disaster. One wise guy advised: "And you come on cardinally - with dynamite!" It turned out loudly, but ineffectively. Moreover, the neighbors came with the police and let's find out the relationship with Ivan.
Another, more cautious and thoughtful comrade, suggested: “And let's start pulling it from the bottom. Thoroughly and surely. ” Ivan did not even try this method. How many years to haul logs from the bottom? And not a fact that will help.
I did not give a damn about the tips and went to the dam to disassemble. I took one log from above and threw it into the water, so that it could blow. Minimum effort and no special equipment.
Moral: no need to complicate! The best solutions are on the surface.
Where do the grievances come from?
In fact, what is a grudge? This is anger stopped. Like a fist stopped halfway. Moreover, when the offender certainly deserved a right hook. But you restrained - a bad habit, from childhood.
Perhaps when you were a child and angry with your parents, they aggressively stopped this aggression:
“A good girl doesn't act like that.” And the bad ones are punished!
“Don’t you love mom?” So we don’t love you either! Here we give you to the orphanage, and live as you want.
The only thing you remember as a child: it’s dangerous to get angry. If you show aggression towards adults, you will either be punished, or they will generally get rid of you, and you will disappear without parents. And each time they stopped their anger, giving no way out. Clamped it inside.
You are an adult now. But instead of fighting back, you still get offended and crawl to the side. Although the normal reaction to an attack is fear, anger and corresponding action.
Way that works
To begin with, stop considering your emotions as something valuable, requiring your continued attention. Ideally, feelings and emotions are lived instantly.
Stop artificially holding, chewing, scrolling the grudge, like a bad movie.
Everything is simple. Emotions are a kind of signal light. Imagine: you are driving a car, your gas level indicator lights up. So what? Will you start lamenting and complaining about this? Or wrap it up at the first refueling?
Our emotions are like those bulbs in a car:
- Green - everything works fine, life pleases.
- Red - anxiety, something is going wrong or broken.
What should be the correct response to the red signal? Find out what's wrong and fix it. If you feel anger, anger or fear, someone has violated your boundaries. That is, a person directly or indirectly tries to do harm. He is the offender.
How to deal with offenders
Every living creature attacked has three biological ways to respond:
- Run awayif the enemy is stronger and contacting him is more expensive. I do not like to run - you become big and strong yourself.
- Pretend to be dead or just ignore the attacks. Ignoring tactics are chosen both by the strong, not wanting to mess with every little thing, and the weak - when it's late to run and nowhere to go.
- "Soak" the offender. And so that no longer dare to attack. But here you need to adultly assess your chances of winning.
In each individual situation, the reaction may be different. Most importantly, make sure that you are really attacked. After that, choose the appropriate way to act, and the need to continue to live negative emotion will disappear. Moreover, emotion will become energy for action.
How to change habitual behavior
Many are used to doing the same thing: take offense and drive complaints in the head, retell them, complain about life and feel sorry for yourself. Want to be cured of resentment? Change the behavior:
Honestly admit that your insult is an irrelevant infantile reaction. You are afraid to act, so you prefer to crawl into a corner and quietly whine there.
Allow yourself to feel anger, anger, rage. If you are attacked, you have the right to these emotions.
Analyze the situation and consciously choose a rational mode of action.
Remind yourself more often: an adult does not take offense! He either "grabs the dagger" and deals with the offender, or distances himself and no longer has anything to do with him. And only so. Published by econet.ru.
P.S. And remember, just changing our consciousness - together we change the world! © econet
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