Of course, we know that the people around us are all very, very different. Poor and rich, happy and not very. And a whole bunch of gradations ... From the point of view of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), people differ in the type of thinking.
Each of us thinks through various images. As we noted above, images (experiences) are divided into five categories - visual, auditory, kinesthetic images (sensations, smells and taste). And also on various combinations of these images. As an example, remember your last call at school. What comes to mind? Smart classmates on a ruler in front of the school, or maybe the melody of a school waltz? People use all types of images, but they give the most preference to one. Note that many do not even realize their mental activity - it lies outside their consciousness.
There is a certain relationship between the type of mental activity and the position of the interlocutor's eyes (which is why it is so important to look a person in the eye when talking).
Looking up and to the right means that at the moment your interlocutor creates a visual image. Defocused gaze also attests to visual thinking.
If the person you are looking to the left or right this indicates the creation of a sound image. Such a person hears and discusses his thoughts, talking with himself.
Man gaze left and down should alert you. If your interlocutor does not even lie, then he certainly very well subconsciously controls what he is talking about.
Well, the last type of thinking - thinking with kinesthetic images is characterized by looking down and to the right. If you notice such a look at the interlocutor, it is likely at that very moment that he recalls bodily sensations, such as pain, fear, cold, recalls various smells or tastes.
Clear, that not every look expresses internal mental activity. People can just watch their feet or count money. For us, the most important is the definition of that particular view, which indicates the formation of one or another image in the human mind.
So, a glance may indicate what kind of images a person is thinking at a given moment. Now a little practice. Try to find among your friends a person who often looks up and to the right when talking. This man literally describes to you the pictures that arise in his memory. Typically, such people have such phrases as:
I looked at everything and thought
If you look at it from the other side
I see something more
In order to somehow influence the interlocutor one must “speak his language”, in other words, think not only in his categories, but also in his images. (Everything seems to be so obvious, but notice how rarely we use this in our daily lives).
Consequently, if we want to influence the interlocutor, using mainly visual images, we must use the following phrases:
You can look at it from the other side ...
Let's not lose sight of ...
Similar phrases can be selected for other types of interlocutors.
For auditory images it will be:
Listen only to how it sounds ...
That sounds tempting ...
Feel it ...
Let's touch on the topic ...
Now it's time to learn some special terms. The fact is that when reading more in-depth books on NLP, they are used without any explanation. Occasionally I will make such “near-scientific” inserts for your subsequent deep understanding of the specific aspects of NLP. So, the separation of people by the type of reproduction of internal experience (visual, auditory and kinetic) is called the separation of the modality of internal experience.
Any visual reproduction (eyes up and right) - visual modality.
Auditory imagery (eyes left and right) - audio modality.
Sensations - kinesthetic modality
Note that most literate bosses and informal leaders are visuals. Visually, it’s much easier to control the present and predict the future.
People, whose main job is communication (for example, sellers), most of them are audiences. A person of this type distinguishes the slightest changes in intonation in the interlocutor’s voice, which in most cases can tell about a person much more than words.
Well, in fact, kinesthetics. Kinesthetics have a very developed intuition, so they perfectly solve various problems in various areas of life. Rumor has it that kinesthetics are wonderful lovers - after all, they are the ones who can listen not only to the sensations of their own body, but also to the sensations of the partner's body.
It is impossible to find a person who would always tell only the truth and nothing but the truth. Indeed, in life there is no way to do without some understatements or even outright lies, because it is also necessary. Therefore, it’s good to know some of the signs of liars. For example, where does a person look when he lies. After all, if you understand that a person is telling a lie, then this can change a lot.
The only thing worth considering is that a person, when a person is lying, cannot be unambiguous, therefore there is still a place for some error in the conclusions.
How to understand from the eyes that a person is lying?
In general, facial expressions are something that a person is not always able to fully control. Some people, of course, lie better than others, because they have a certain share of acting talent. But still, small facial expressions can be incredibly difficult to control or hide. This is especially true for eye movement, which usually occurs completely unconsciously.
The first thing that draws attention is the gaze. When a person lies, he begins to think about which way he is looking, because he is worried. That is why people who do not particularly know how to lie, try not to look at the interlocutor and constantly look away, that is, they are characterized by a running look. And on the contrary, experienced liars will look intently into the interlocutor’s eyes, as if challenging him.
Also, when a person is lying, he may involuntarily start blinking more often. This happens on a subconscious level, as a person is ashamed and tries to hide his lie.
It is worth paying attention to exactly where the person’s eyes look when he is lying. The movement of the eyes to the right and up indicates that the person recalls the events that actually took place, but if the gaze "goes" to the left and up, this means that he is fantasizing and constructing events in his head on the go, right now, that is, he’s lying .
According to statistics, each person has time to lie at least 4 times a day, because the truth often contradicts generally accepted standards of decency, ethics and even morality. How to recognize a lie if no modern detector is able to give one hundred percent guarantee that what a person says is not a hoax? Define the external signs of untruth that will give out the interlocutor.
What is wrong
Often deception is harmless when a person tells a lie out of politeness or out of a desire to please (“You look great!”, “I am very glad to meet you!”). Sometimes people have to tell the whole truth or remain silent in response to uncomfortable questions from unwillingness to escalate the situation, and this is also considered insincerity.
However, psychologists argue that even harmless, it would seem, lies can seriously harm relations, especially when it comes to understatement between family members: husband and wife, parents and children. It is difficult to achieve mutual trust and maintain strong family ties in such circumstances, so it is important to know how to recognize the lies of a man, woman or child.
Observations of specialists in the field of psychology have shown certain results that relate to fraud in the family:
- Despite their external openness to the interlocutor, extroverts are more prone to lies than introverts,
- children quickly learn to lie in authoritarian families, while doing this often and masterly,
- parents who behave gently towards the child notice a lie right away, because he rarely cheats and hesitates,
- the female sex is prone to deception, if it comes to household items - they conceal the price of purchased goods, do not talk about a broken cup or a burnt dish, etc.
- Men are characterized by understatement in matters of relationships, they hide their dissatisfaction with a partner, have lovers and confidently lie about their loyalty.
How to learn to recognize a lie?
To prevent the development of complex family relationships built on deception, infidelity and understatement, it is important to learn to understand sincerity. Often the ability to bring a deceiver to clean water is a natural talent of a person who intuitively knows how to recognize a lie by facial expressions, gestures or intonation of the interlocutor. In this he is helped by the life experience of communicating with liars, or by natural observation.
This does not mean that anyone can not determine the deception without the appropriate experience or talent. Currently, psychology has established some verbal and non-verbal signs of distortion of information that are characteristic of most people. Thanks to a well-established technique based on an understanding of such signals, each person will be able to develop the ability to recognize insincerity. We learn what is capable of betraying a liar.
What does the gaze mean, the direction of gaze, dilated and narrowed pupils. A casual cast look, gaze and direction. Look from under, left, right, up, down, frequent blinking and squinting. The gaze and the direction of the gaze can say a lot about the thoughts, feelings and experiences of a person.
The head is lowered forward. (Sign of disapproval, gesture of aggression)
P.S. All the gestures, views and examples described above can only be used in context and are not an exact indication of one or another decryption, and I understand the actions. Remember, you should not judge by only one criterion and interpret actions in your direction. Be not biased.
Averting the eyes is a natural defense. In ancient times, direct gaze meant a challenge. When meeting with wild animals, he looked away if he recognized their strength and did not want to enter into conflict, so as to protect himself from attack. Exactly behave in the same way, before disappearing from sight. Therefore, when answering the interlocutor’s question, a person subconsciously averts his eyes not because he is lying, but because he does not want or cannot expose himself, be it actions. There are people who tell lies very rarely. As a rule, they then worry greatly, often give themselves away and usually repent. By deceiving, they either look to the side or lower their gaze. At the same time, they are very nervous and almost do not own facial expressions. Fussy tapping, twitching of legs or arms, shifting things from place to place - all these are true lies. Their eyes often run, their eyes do not focus on one thing. When a person experiences excitement, he can blink rapidly, his palms can sweat, his cheeks blush, etc. However, it is worth considering that frequent blinking also accompanies the thought process, and excitement can be caused by the topic of conversation. where the eyes of the interlocutor are directed. If he looks up and to the left, there is his appeal to, and if up and to the right, perhaps he comes up with a certain visual image. When the gaze is directed downward, we can conclude that your interlocutor appeals to his emotions. All this can become in the hands of a deceiver. Liars may have intentional blocking of the eyelids when answering a question. Eyelashes remain lowered for a few seconds longer than usual. A lying interlocutor can also often touch his eyes, experiencing internal discomfort and nervousness, but there are people who say that a lie is their second. They carefully build a line of their behavior, try neither with gestures, nor with facial expressions to give out their true "I". It can be very difficult to follow the look of such a person. Sometimes he looks straight into the eyes, realizing that the only way he can emphasize his “sincerity” and “honesty”. But sometimes, concentrating on a false presentation of the situation, he cannot sufficiently control his gaze and facial expressions. Then, trying to convince his interlocutor, the liar puts all his efforts into the power of the eyes. At the same time, they look unnaturally outstretched, and the lips at the same time begin to involuntarily tighten, especially in the pauses between words. Often, looking up, he with all his appearance makes it clear to others that heaven is a witness to his "honesty."
Eyes - a universal lie detector
Eyes are one of the most advanced lie detectors, by the movement of the eyeballs you can determine what a person is thinking at the moment, whether he is telling the truth or lying. People move their eyes in certain directions depending on what type of thinking is involved. Observation of the eyes is one of the simplest methods of obtaining information about the thoughts and emotions of a person.
Studies show that the pupil expands fully by 45% if what we see we like, and vice versa narrows if not like. It is also common for a person to squint his eyes when he experiences negative emotions. These eye reactions last about 1/8 of a second, but if you watch carefully, you will notice them. One option for non-verbal signals involving the eyes is eye blocking. When a person in response to visual or auditory information covers his eyes with his hand, touches his eyelid, or simply closes his eyes for a split second, this indicates negative emotions from the information received. Such a reaction can cause even your own thoughts. It is worth noting that at the time of stress, eye blinks are recognized. When a person experiences positive emotions, the eyes will be wide open, eyebrows raised. Also, eye expansion is observed at the time of surprise. Carefully study the photos in the gallery of emotions of the site. Determine which muscle groups of the face are involved depending on the emotion.
Decryption of eye movement.
1.- Eye movement up left.
(Image-memory). When we visualize something from our experience: “What color is your car?” And together with the verbal answer you will get a left upward look, typical of visual memories.
“When was the last time you saw this man?”
2. - Defocusing the eyes.
The eyes are defocused, their position is fixed, the pupil is somewhat dilated. Visual images can be from memory or designed.
3. - Eye movement up to the right.
The constructed image. The visual representation of images, phenomena or objects that we have not seen before, or the presentation of phenomena and objects not as we saw them before. "What will the cow look like?"
Auditory recall of those sounds that we have heard before. “What does your favorite song sound like? "
Auditory construction. The auditory presentation of sounds that we have never heard before. "How does the song of your dreams sound?" “How would your phone sound if you cover it with your hand?”
6. Eye movement down to the left.
Internal conversation. This direction of the eyes coincides with the function of controlling speech, when a person selects the words that he wants to pronounce. This line of sight can often be seen by the translator during the interpretation, by the student on the protection of the diploma from the person giving the interview.
7. - Eyes down to the right.
Sensation of emotions, tactile sensations, feelings of movement, smell. “How do you feel when you feel angry?” “What do you feel when doing sports? “Remember how it burns?” The important point is that sensations cannot be constructed - we cannot imagine those feelings that we did not actually experience.
There is a typical eyeball movement pattern called "Lie detector": the direction of the gaze from the visual construction (right up, right horizontally) to the control of speech (left down), in the internal experience this corresponds to this sequence - first imagine, construct, as if it could be, and then say only what corresponds to it, nothing extra.
And now a couple of examples from life.
During the interrogation, the investigator asks the woman: In what relationship did you have with citizen “K”?
Answer: We were friends ”- and looks down to the right. She goes into kinesthetic (sensual memories). Judging by the reaction of the eyes, namely the memory of sensations, we can conclude that the woman told a lie.
A similar situation: The husband returns from vacation, the wife asks: How did you rest? The husband replies: It was boring and lowers his eyes to the right down. He goes into kinesthetic (sensual memories). It’s too early to draw conclusions about lies, but we can say that he has something to remember.
Question: What happened at your meeting?
Answer: Nothing special, we talked and said goodbye. The eyes go left - up, while the pupils narrow. The meeting really was, but the memories he evoke negative emotions. It can be assumed that a quarrel occurred at the meetings.
Когда человек прикрывает рукой глаза, это означает, что он подсознательно стыдится того, что видит или делает ("глаза б мои не видели"), как бы физически пытается отгородиться от постыдной (т.е. той, которой он стыдится) лжи, не смотреть в глаза собеседнику.
Classical, canonical gestures of lies, prescribed in all textbooks: remember how young children, lying, and frightened by this, gag their mouth with a palm? In each person, such a child remains forever. And therefore, telling a lie, he often unconsciously seeks to cover his mouth with his hand. Most often this is done in a more veiled way (touching the corner of the lips, rubbing the nose, etc.).
Touching your fingers to the neck means about the same as touching your face - except that the gesture is more deeply “hidden” and masked. This gesture (as opposed to scratching the neck, which means insecurity) means that the person “keeps his finger on the pulse”, controls himself, and also experiences a certain “suffocation” from what lies are saying (also: pulling off the collar).
Another indicator of "honesty" is a line of sight. In psychology and NLP, it is known that the direction of a person’s gaze gives out the hemisphere that is dominant for him at a given time. So, looking to the left (towards the left hand of the partner - i.e., in fact: look to the right ) indicates that the left hemisphere is active, which controls the right side of the body and is responsible for logical, rational thinking. A look to the right (towards the partner’s right hand) means activity of the right hemisphere connected with the left side of the body and providing imaginative, emotional creative thinking. Therefore, as has long been known, a lying person can easily be calculated by eye movement: unconsciously, he makes eye movements to the right to think up, and not to the left to remember (see the table for more details).
|Look up right|
means creating visual images, a fantasy related to “how it might look like” or a lie (“how it supposedly looked”)
|Look up left|
means recalling visual images that existed in reality or have long been created mentally
|Looking right horizontally|
means the creation of auditory images (composing the sounds of music, speech, etc.), as well as a lie
|Looking left horizontally|
means recalling the sounds ever heard
|Look right down|
means thinking, appreciating or experiencing emotions and feelings
|Look left down|
means internal dialogue or concentration on physical sensations
When a person lies, he speaks through gritted teeth. There is an expression: "lie through the teeth" (option - "grit through the teeth"). This is not a lyrical definition, but again - the physiological reaction of the body, for which a lie is stress, which is desirable to prevent. Therefore, a person instinctively clenches his teeth.
Another sign of lying: biting the tip of the tongue. This gesture is explained very simply - having told a lie, a person as if punishes himself for this and literally bites his tongue (in other words: “e-mine, I did something.” Only - on a subconscious level). The gesture has another aspect: such a “bite” is a belated reaction of the body, which still seeks to prevent a lie that is stressful for it (teeth are compressed, but do not form a barrier, but bite the tongue).
2. Up and right
Indicates visually recalled images (BB)
If you ask a person, “what color was the first house you lived in?”, Then his eyes will turn in this direction when he thinks about the issue, “visually recalling” the color of the house of their childhood.
Indicates auditory imaging (SS) images.
If you ask someone to imagine the highest sound of all possible, then when he thinks about the issue, "creating an auditory image" of a sound he has never heard, his gas will turn in this direction.
Indicates auditory recall images (SV)
If you ask a person to remember how his mother’s voice sounds, then when he thinks about a question, trying to remember a sound, his eyes will turn in that direction.
- A look directed in front of you, or unfocused and not moving eyes, are also considered a sign of visual assessment.
- Usually, the left-handed person will demonstrate the opposite sense of eye direction.
- As in the case with other signs of a lie, it is first necessary to find out and understand the basis of human behavior before concluding that he is lying, based on the direction of his gaze.
Many critics believe that all of the above is just nonsense. However, practice shows that there is something in it. But who prevents to find out on their own?
It is enough to make a list of questions, like the ones given above, and offer them to friends and relatives who will play the role of experimental subjects. And then observe the movements of their eyes and record the results.
When a person confidently wants to defend his lies and lies consciously, he tries to maintain eye contact. He looks deeply into his eyes. This is to know if you believe his lies. And when a person is taken by surprise and wants to lie so that everyone forgot about it, he immediately switches your attention: he leaves for another room, allegedly on business, or starts to tie shoes, sorting pieces of paper and bursting something under his nose. However, sometimes a person looks into his eyes in the hope of seeing support. He may not lie, but be very unsure of his innocence.
When asking a question, watch your eyes when a person answers. As a rule, if he looks away, it means he remembers to tell the truth. It is important which way.
Up-right - recalls a picture of real events, or images that he personally saw.
Up-left-fantasizes, comes up with a picture, possibly false.
Right-right - remembering what I heard before.
Right-left - he thinks up words, looks for how it could sound better. I have not heard it myself.
Down-right says what he is sure of.
Down-left - remembers real, tactile sensations, smell and taste.
The sides of the gaze are indicated when the person is looking at you!
Watch for blinking. When they lie, they often blink involuntarily, because it is stress. But, in addition, increased blinking may mean that the subject of the conversation is unpleasant to him, causing pain. And the less often a person blinks, the happier he is at that moment.
One-way movements - when only one side of the body is very active (shoulder, arm, leg) - indicate: the person says the opposite of what he thinks. In general, if yanks with one shoulder, gives out a lie.
Speaking, takes a step back - does not believe in what he says, retreats.
If a liar suddenly felt that he unexpectedly betrayed himself with something, he immediately begins to intensely monitor his face, speak more slowly than usual, weigh the words ... And it is just such a plastic body that can give him away. Even if he looks relaxed and playful, the body is still tense and in an unnatural or uncomfortable position. For example, X's legs are folded, hands are trying to weave or hide - he is hiding something from you.
The person expresses sympathy, at the very corners of the lips tremble, as if seeking upward. In fact, for some reason, he is pleased with this event. But he wants to hide the joy. Even the corners of the lips tremble or tense when a person rejoices that they managed to fool the other.
Pulling his lower lip - not sure of his words, internal disagreement between word and deed. For example, he says: “Yes, I’ll call you back tomorrow.” But he’s not going to call.
Asymmetric facial expression, distortion of a smile in one direction - a person simulates emotion. Some psychologists consider the asymmetry of a person in a conversation to be one hundred percent confirmation that a person is lying.
He lifts his chin - he feels inner anger and frustration towards you, no matter how smiling he behaves externally.
Know, surprise lasting longer than 5 seconds is false. When a person is too keen to show that he is surprised, that means he knew everything beforehand.
People touch their neck when they lie or when they are very excited. No wonder the men in the films, if any terribly important news, want to loosen their tie. And when a person, as it were, holds himself by the throat, he is literally afraid to let slip. For example, to confess love or not to say impudence to superiors. Words seem to be in his throat, and he seems to be holding them back.
He puts his hands in a lock - hides something and keeps himself in his hands so as not to let slip and not reveal a secret. If a person tries to hide his hands, put in his pocket, fold them on his chest, most likely lying.
Watch your fingers at all. For example, the famous gesture “index finger up,” which, as it were, says “Now I will show you how to do it right!” Actually means: “Now I will scare you and make me believe.” The film claims that this is a signal of inventing lies. But psychologists interpret this gesture is not so clear. A person can simply threaten, knowing that he really does not realize the threat. It's like threatening a son with a belt, knowing that you will not hit.
Stroking himself with his fingers is a gesture of complacency of a deceiver. He wants to cheer himself up, fearing that they do not believe him.
No wonder there is a tradition at the end of negotiations to shake hands. If your interlocutor has cold hands - perhaps he is in possession of a fear of exposure. True, for some this is due to a lack of blood circulation.
Speech signs of a lie
If a person speaks about someone deliberately: “that man”, “that woman”, you know, this is the so-called distant language. It is as if creating an artificial distance. Decreases the value of an object. What for? Well, for example, to hide the fact of meeting or the fact of intimacy.
If in doubt that you are being told the truth, ask them to retell the same events in reverse order. When everything is true, then it will not be difficult. And when you lied, it is difficult to remember what you lied for and turn the sequence over.
If the story has too many details and unnecessary trifles - perhaps the person wants to demonstrate that he is supposedly completely clean, so, they say, look, I’ll open all the cards. This is a clear symptom of a lie.
Attention to reservations. Grandfather Freud made a name for himself in this. Because he was right: liars issue reservations. (Remember the operetta “The Bat,” where the husband tells his wife about the hunt and the dog Emma.) Slurred speech is a sign of a desire to lie and not to be noticed.
A person who lies like breathing, gives out increased distrust. We all judge people by ourselves. And if a person easily believes everything, then he usually doesn’t lie. It is based on such a mechanism of the psyche, which psychologists call projection. One way or another, we always project our own characteristics on other people.
If the word “simply” is often used in a speech, it means that a person feels guilty for something and makes excuses.
Lies draw another lie. Begin to clarify details, ask questions around the bush, and a person, if he lies, will soon betray himself with increased nervousness. But first ask yourself the question: do you want to know this truth? As one famous writer said: “Do not ask a question if you do not know what you will do with the answer.” And in any case, none of these signs is the final sentence. These are only signals that give reason to beware, but not brand.
If you really like a person or like a question, his pupils dilate markedly. Scientists have calculated that if you look at something pleasing to you, then your pupil will increase by 45%.
How not to fall prey to lies
Sit in a higher chair or just stand over the other person. A higher position subconsciously acts as an intimidation signal.
- Take an open pose - do not cross arms and legs.
- Invade your personal space - get to the speaker as close as possible.
- Copy his posture and gestures. Thus, trust is established, and it will be more difficult for a liar to lie.
- Be calm, restrain your emotions. People often lie to prevent negative emotions.
- Do not convict and do not blame. Better pretend that you had not heard, and ask again. So you give the liar a chance to improve and tell the truth.
Wrinkles when smiling around the eyes - a sincere smile. With a fake smile, only lips work.
If the story contains gaps, inaccurate details, spontaneous amendments, returns “oh, no, I remembered the car was white!” - these are signs of a true story.
Understanding a lie is easier for a man than a woman. They have such a symptom of Pinocchio. They, when they lie, scratch their nose. And all because there is an excitable zone, receptors. They begin to itch from the stress of concealing the truth.
A man rubs his face with the middle finger - as if silently sends the interlocutor to hell, a gesture of hostility.
It's no secret that all people lie. They can cheat in small things or in more important things. Those who do not want to become their victims need to be prepared for such a turn of events and learn to recognize lies. To do this, you need to have extensive experience in communicating with people and constantly train your own observation. Learning to understand people is quite difficult, but still possible. Most often, a lie is detected by the eyes, facial expressions and gestures.
Eyes are a mirror ...
When a person lies, his eyes often give him away. Having a desire, you can learn to control gestures or facial expressions, or think through the story to the smallest detail, but it is unlikely to control eye movements. During a lie, a person feels very insecure and uncomfortable, so he tries to look away. If the interlocutor does not look directly into the eyes - this can be considered as the first sign of fraud.
But not so simple. Almost everyone knows how to detect a lie in the eyes, so they use the “on the contrary” method. If a person looks directly with unblinking eyes, perhaps he wants to justify himself. An overly honest look often indicates the truthfulness of the words of the interlocutor. It seems that he wants to penetrate the thoughts of the opponent and understand whether he believes in him. And if a liar is taken by surprise, most likely, he will try to switch his attention or go to another room.
It is almost impossible to control, therefore, a lying person’s eyes change. The pupil becomes much smaller than always.
Blood to the face ...
Detecting lies in the eyes is not the only way to recognize lies. When a person tells a lie, tiny wrinkles appear around his eyes. Sometimes they can be seen even with the naked eye. If there are doubts about the sincerity of the opponent’s words, you should carefully watch his skin around the eyes.
Four cardinal points
Thinking about how, through the eyes, you can watch in which direction the interlocutor is looking. If his gaze is directed to the right, then he is deceiving. When people look up and straight, it means that at that moment they come up with a picture or image. To represent sounds or a phrase, a person will look right and straight. When the script is ready, the trickster will look right and down. But these rules apply only when a person is right-handed. In a lefty, the position of the eyes with a lie is the opposite.
If the gaze quickly moves from one subject to another, then this is also an occasion to think about how to identify a lie in the eyes.
Knowing the basic secrets, you can easily determine whether a person is cheating or not. Many people during a false story experience. At this time, the eyes go down, and sometimes to the side. To determine the lies, it is necessary to compare the movements of the eyeballs with the words that the opponent says.
Psychologists are sure that a frozen look is a sign that a person is telling a lie. To check this, it is enough to ask the interlocutor to recall some detail. If he continues to look straight and does not blink, most likely, you can’t believe him. In the case when the opponent answers the question, without hesitation and without changing the position of the eyes, you can suspect him of insincerity. When the number of blinks increases, this indicates that a person feels uncomfortable and wants to distance himself from the outside world.
But the definition of lies by the eyes in this way is not true in the case when the events occurred ten to fifteen minutes ago. Also, do not focus on a fixed look when a person communicates information that is very important to him, such as his address or phone number.
Communicating with a person, you can sometimes notice how he quickly looks away to the side during the story, and then again looks at the interlocutor. It is very likely that such his actions indicate that he is trying to hide something.
If the interlocutor watched the conversation directly and openly, and when he touched on a certain topic, he began to look away or avoid direct contact, then this is one of the signs of recognizing a lie by the eyes. But sometimes uncertain and notorious people behave this way, if the topic of conversation makes them feel awkward. In this case, it makes no sense to talk about deception on the basis of this feature alone.
A person who deceives is always afraid of being exposed. Therefore, during a conversation, he may have a little scared. But only an experienced psychologist can distinguish him from ordinary shyness in front of a stranger or an unusual situation.
Eyes are not the only indicator indicating a lie. Analyzing the behavior of the interlocutor, it is worth evaluating the whole picture: pay attention to gestures, posture and facial expressions. Any information about a person will come in handy to correctly match the words and the "picture". Therefore, it is not worth doing.
Интонация и улыбка
Когда собеседник обманывает, его речь и интонации будут меняться. Голос может дрожать, а слова произносятся медленнее или, наоборот, быстрее. У некоторых людей появляется охриплость или проскальзывают высокие нотки. Если собеседник стеснительный, то он может начать заикаться.
По улыбке также можно распознать неискренность. Many people, when they tell a lie, smile a little. The interlocutor should be alerted if a smile is completely inappropriate. This facial expression allows you to hide a little awkwardness and excitement. But this does not apply to cheerful people who try to always smile.
Facial muscle tension
If you look at your opponent very carefully, you can figure out whether he is cheating or not. It will give micro-tension of the facial muscles, which lasts several seconds. With whatever “stone” face the interlocutor speaks, instantaneous tension is still inevitable.
The cheater gives out not only the position of the eyes when lying, but also uncontrolled skin and other parts of the face. The most common include: shivering lips, rapid blinking, or discoloration of the skin.
Well-known experts agreed that when a person deceives, he performs typical actions:
- touches the hands of the face
- covers his mouth
- scratches nose, rubs eyes or touches ear,
- pulls the collar on the clothes.
But all these gestures can talk about lies only when other signs of deception are present. Therefore, the most reliable is the determination of lies by eyes, facial expressions, movements and behavior. By learning to diagnose a lie, you can avoid the fate of the victim and always feel confident.
As practice shows, that person who is often communicating with other people is capable of accurately recognizing lies. He should also be able to soberly perceive the situation and events, be attentive and try to notice all the nuances and subtleties of their behavior. Rich communicative experience and the ability to analyze will help to correctly perceive all the information received and evaluate its reliability.
When a person lies, his eyes most often give him away. You can learn to control movements, you can learn to come up with a believable lie. But controlling eye movement is very, very difficult. At the moment of lies, a person feels uncomfortable, so he looks away from the eyes of the interlocutor. According to where the interlocutor’s gaze is directed, if he stubbornly does not look into your eyes, this is the first sign of a lie.
People who know this symptom sometimes do the opposite. That is, they look into a person’s eyes. And the second sign of a lie is a direct, unblinking look right in the eye. As a rule, people at this moment try to whitewash themselves, so their look is too honest.
Due to an unpleasant situation, the eyes of a lying person change. And it’s impossible to control it at all. The pupil decreases sharply in size. Look the other person in the eye. If the pupil is narrowed, it is likely that it is lying.
When a person lies, blood rushes a little stronger to his face. Microscopic red spots appear around the eyes. Sometimes it is possible to notice with the naked eye. Look closely at the skin around the opponent’s eyes. If you see small spots that appear, then most likely the person is telling a lie.
Look in which direction a person looks when he speaks. If he looks to the right, he is lying. If a person looks to the right and up, at that moment they come up with an image, a picture. If he looks right and straight, then he scrolls the sounds in his head, selects phrases. If he looks to the right and down, this means that he has finished thinking about the situation and is ready to tell it.
Apply these rules if you are sure that the person is right-handed. If he is left-handed, then he will look to the left when he is telling a lie. Keep this in mind when declassifying a person.
Sometimes a lie can be identified in yet another way. Watch your opponent’s eyes. If his gaze began to move quickly from one subject to another, he too can be suspected of lying.
Do not rush to blame a person for lying. If during a conversation he doesn’t look you in the eye, but looks into the distance, then this may also mean that there is a television broadcasting football behind your back.
There is not a single action that would say that a person is lying, at 100%. Based on these signs, we can only assume that the person at this moment is not completely frank.
The well-known popular proverb “eyes are the mirror of the soul” has a deep meaning. By to the eyes You can learn a lot about a person. The movement of the eyelids, eyeballs, eyebrows, tilt of the head speak more about the interlocutor and his emotions than words.
Knowing some secrets, by to the eyes You can determine whether a person is sincere with you or not. It has long been noticed: if a person experiences a feeling of guilt, then he lowers them down (sometimes down and to the side). To find out exactly what your interlocutor is experiencing, it is enough to compare this eye movement with the context of the conversation.
Psychologists believe that "fixed eyes" can serve as a sign of lies. If you asked your interlocutor to remember something, and he, without looking away, continues to look directly into your eyes or at you, then this is one of the signs of a person’s insincerity. If at the same time, without hesitation, he answers the question asked - there are suspicions of his hypocrisy.
This symptom mainly concerns answers to unexpected questions or a request to recall old events. If a person talks about what happened to him ten to fifteen minutes ago, or reports important information for him (his phone number, address of residence), then the sign “fixed eyes” does not work here.
Another sign of a possible lie is "quick eye contact." If your interlocutor looks at you during a story or an answer to a question and suddenly quickly looks away and then returns to you just as quickly, it is likely that he is trying to hide something.
When during the conversation the interlocutor looked directly and openly at you and when touching on a particular topic, he began to avoid looking - this too can speak of lies and an attempt to hide something. But we must not forget that some insecure people often feel awkward during a conversation and avoid looking, which does not mean their insincerity at all. It is also quite possible that your interlocutor simply does not like the topic touched.
Pay attention to the pupils of the interlocutor. A person cannot control his pupils. If, when answering a question, you notice that the interlocutor’s pupils have narrowed or dilated, this should lead to a suspicion that you are not completely sincere.
You should not make hasty conclusions at the sight of one of the signs. Be sure to compare the context of the conversation and the situation with the listed symptoms. If you focus only on them, you can make a mistake and blame the honest man for lying.
If a person looks away down and to the right - this is one of the signs of a lie, but if he looks away down and to the left - he can simply choose the right words.
- Psychology. How to recognize a lie
- lie in sight
Psychologists say that in most cases, a lie can be determined. No matter how hard the lying person tries, his body will send certain “beacons” about what he is trying to deceive on subconscious damage. And you can find out that they tell you a lie simply by observing the face of the interlocutor.
Children, when they tell a lie, cover their mouth with their palm. At a later age, this habit persists in a person. When he tries to cheat, his hands on a subconscious level reach out to his mouth. But with the mind, a person understands that one cannot do this. And therefore, trying to change the movement. That is, if your interlocutor constantly touches the face with your hand during a conversation, this is one of the first signs that you are being lied to. But a single case does not mean anything, a person can really comb his nose. Therefore, observe carefully so as not to make hasty conclusions.
If during the whole conversation a person supports his chin with his hand, this may also indicate that he is trying to deceive you. Usually this pose looks like this: the thumb is on the cheek, the palm covers part of the lips.
Look at the look on your face. If a person tells the truth, his words correspond to facial expressions. For example, he says that he is happy and smiles. If a person is lying, his speech does not match the expression on his face or emotions appear asynchronously. For example, he says that he is very pleased, but a smile on his face appears a few seconds earlier or later (which happens more often) of these words.
Observe the look of the interlocutor. If he is lying, he will most likely avoid looking into your face. Men who tell lies often look at the floor, and women at the ceiling. If your interlocutor is familiar with non-verbal psychology, then he, on the contrary, can constantly look you in the eye, proving that he is true.
Learn the emotions of the interlocutor. If he lies, then they will change dramatically. For example, he just sat with a frown, and after a second he smiles, but the smile also disappears suddenly. A person who has been told something pleasant or fun begins to show emotions gradually. First, an expression of joy appears in the eyes, then small facial wrinkles appear, and only then does a sincere and open smile appear on the face. She also descends gradually. In a person who is trying to cheat, emotions change dramatically.
The smile of a lying person, only lips are involved, but his eyes remain cold. Or it may be asymmetrical when only one half of the mouth is smiling. This applies to the manifestation of almost all emotions. Asymmetric facial expression most often indicates that a person is trying to lie. The right and left sides of the face are influenced by various hemispheres of the brain. The left hemisphere controls the thoughts and speech of a person, the right is responsible for emotions. The work of the right hemisphere is reflected in the left half of the face. Therefore, if you want to understand whether you are lying or not, pay more attention to this part.
- how to recognize a lie in the face
In life, sometimes situations arise when it is very important to understand: a person is lying or not. You can recognize a liar without using a lie detector. Sometimes for this it is enough to look him in the eye.
Look where the interlocutor’s gaze is directed during the conversation. If up and to the right - the person recalls the events that actually happened, up and to the left - he tells you about the invented facts. A glance directed to the left indicates that it is difficult for the interlocutor to pick up words, and if he looks to the right, it means that he recalls what he heard earlier. Down and left during a conversation, people who are immersed in their feelings and experiences look down and to the right - they are conducting an internal dialogue with themselves (for left-handed people, the right side and left side are swapped).
Pay attention to whether the interlocutor is looking into the eyes. Inexperienced liars often look away, or cover their eyes with a hand. Experienced - they know how to look intently into the victim’s eyes, but they can be given out by frequent blinking.
Estimate the pupil size of the interlocutor. Expanded - a reaction to truthful words, narrowed - to a lie. This is due to the fact that the untruthful organism begins to produce special chemical compounds that affect the size of the pupils. Because of this, by the way, a liar can still itch his nose or ear.
Observe how the interlocutor’s view correlates with his words. If a person sincerely rejoices, worries, is surprised, etc., then these emotions will be very clearly reflected in his eyes. In a liar, the gaze either does not express any emotions, or these manifestations are significantly delayed.
There are other ways to identify a liar. One of the signs that you are lying is a frequent drink during a conversation - a person, as it were, dries up in the throat. Listen to the voice of the interlocutor: monotonous speech often betrays the one who carefully thinks through his remarks. Gesturing in a person who is telling a lie is often unnatural and constrained, as if trying to shrink and take up as little space as possible. When analyzing human behavior, try to pay attention to various combinations of signs - the only way you can determine exactly whether you are lying.
There is a simple technique that allows you to determine the leading hand in a person. The leading hand is connected with the dominant hemisphere of the brain: in left-handed people - the right, in right-handed people - the left.
Tasks for drawing and manipulating objects
Draw a circle on paper, ending with an arrow. It is important in which direction your arrow will point. If counterclockwise, this indicates the predominance of the left hemisphere and right-handedness. If clockwise, the right hemisphere dominates and you are left-handed.
Draw a triangle and a square of each of the hands in turn. Rate the drawings. Which hand turned faster and